for driftcompatible

[striker_eureka]

There is absolutely no worse feeling than knowing that your child died from a direct result of your actions.

Herc had watched Chuck fall to his death screaming, Leatherback's angry roar not enough to drown out the terrified noise that ripped from his son's throat before the ocean swallowed him up and his armor dragged him down. It left Herc shell-shocked, useless even without his broken clavicle, and he was honestly surprised when Stacker left him in charge of the final mission.

He wouldn't have.

But somehow he managed, somehow he was able to stand there in the LOCCENT, was able to direct the last two Jaegers to finish the mission and seal the breach forever. They knew they were going to die. Every pilot does when they strap themselves in. Herc had stepped up to that microphone knowing that he would listen to the death of his best friend and his maybe-girlfriend, and it was only what he deserved for killing his son. He had to listen to Chuck die, too. It seems fitting.

Striker Eureka detonated in a giant nuclear explosion and Herc felt what was left of his heart shatter, leaving him a hollow man-shaped shell.

He was only able to get through the press dockets and the paperwork and ordering the decontamination protocols because he had done all this before and his autopilot instincts were good. But if anyone were to look at the footage, they would see a broken man, haggard and grieving, the light gone out of his eyes, every fiber screaming he'd given up.

Most days now, Herc drinks himself into oblivion with cheap moonshine, hoping to numb the agony he feels with every breath. It never works.

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[striker_eureka]

"No, Mako..."

He reaches for her and pulls her into his arms, burying his nose in her wet hair as he hugs her close to his chest. Her hair is wet, she smells like his shampoo, she feels solid and real...

Maybe he can let himself believe she's actually alive.

"Don't cry, sweetheart, please."

[driftcompatible]

Everything comes pouring out; the guilt at being partially responsible for all of this pain Hercules is facing, for insisting that she go down with Stacker and fight and then being ejected and not even able to die properly, for feeling like she’s abandoned her father when he needed her, for everything. She sobs into his shoulder and clings to him, her face against his neck, arms around him as she straddles his waist and continues to cry.

“I’m sorry,” she sobs, “I’m so sorry.”

[striker_eureka]

He shushes her, long-dormant paternal instincts rearing their head, defaulting into patterns of behavior he wore when he was married to Angela and she got so stressed at work that she would come home with angry tears on her face, when Chuck was little and fell and scraped his palms and ran to Herc for him to make it better.

He kisses her hair and rubs her back soothingly, closing his eyes as he focuses on staying upright even as he cries into her hair.

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault."

[driftcompatible]

It is her fault, she wants to say, it is, but she doesn’t have the voice to do it. She has so much that she wants to say right now that she can’t find the words for. She’s been so focused on making sure he doesn’t commit suicide that she hasn’t had a chance since coming back to even think properly.

She wants to lie down and sleep, but she doesn’t dare. She wants to curl up with him and let him hold her, have him pull her into his arms and kiss her sweetly like he’s done countless times before. She wants him to pet her hair and call her all of those pet names that he’d come up with for her during the time they had together, when things hadn’t been quite so awful and the ones they loved were still alive.

It’s quite a while before she manages to stop her tears and at the end of it, his shoulder is probably damp and her eyes are burning but it doesn’t matter. He’s holding her, she’s in his arms and that, at least, is something.

[striker_eureka]

She's soaked his shirt but he doesn't care at all, because that feels real, and maybe it's the water or maybe it's being awake...

He's pretty sure he's not dreaming anymore, that this isn't something his poor brain came up with to help him cope. She's real. She's alive. She's back home here with him.

Stroking a hand over her hair, he sighs quietly. "Come to bed, sweetheart. This floor isn't comfortable at all and you must be exhausted."

He could sleep, too.

[driftcompatible]

She’s beyond exhausted and all she can do is pull back and give him a mute nod, swallowing thickly as her hands grip at his arms, trying to convince herself now that this is real.

“You said – not the bed.”

But it looks so comfortable, so nice, so warm and inviting. She’d very much like to lay with him in it, curled in against him with her head on his shoulder.

[striker_eureka]

"I also said I'd do anything for you," he reminds her gently, his head throbbing painfully. He doesn't know what's going on right now, but this floor is awful and Mako, real or not, is sniffling and teary, and he never could deny her anything.

"I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor."

Getting up is dicey, but he manages after a little while, even helps her to her feet.

[driftcompatible]

She takes his hands, hands gripping his as she gets to her feet.

"Thank you," she murmurs, leaning against him a little even though she knows he's already wobbly. But -- together they teeter over to the bed and Mako sits down hard, and looks over at him, eyes so, so tired but she's unwilling to sleep for fear of losing him.

[striker_eureka]

"C'mon, lovey." He climbs into bed as well and pulls her closer, tugging until she gives in and lies down and he can try to pull the sheet up over them both.

Maybe sleeping will be painful with the reminder of her here, and maybe he'll wake up and this time she'll be gone, but he's willing to do it because he can't stand to see her cry and if he wakes up and she's not real, well, he can kill himself tomorrow.

"Go to sleep. You clearly need it."

[driftcompatible]

It's an easy thing to give in to Hercules. She leans back and immediately presses in close.

"I will only sleep if you give me your word you will not leave your quarters."

He can pee. That's it.

[striker_eureka]

"I promise."

He won't even try to drown himself in the tub or anything.

He kisses her forehead and curls his arm over her, closing his eyes and finally giving in, letting himself pretend this is real. It's all real.

[driftcompatible]

She sleeps hard but it's plagued with troubling dreams of sea and sand and sun and Herc walking off into the cool pacific waters while she screams his name.

When she wants she's drenched in a cold sweat, but still very much here in his bed.

"...Hercules?"

[striker_eureka]

Hercules hasn't moved at all, even though he really needs to take a piss. He's stayed just where he is because Mako is here with him and her head was on his shoulder and her fingers clenched in his shirt and he couldn't make himself slip out of her arms.

"Yeah, sweetheart, I'm here."

[driftcompatible]

She's pushing herself up a little so she can see his face, expression clearly worried and riddled with fear.

"You're alright?"

She needs to make sure.

[striker_eureka]

He just nods, staring at her with a lost expression on his face.

"I'm pretty sure you're real," is what he says in response, his voice a hoarse whisper.

[driftcompatible]

She nods mutely at him, hands shaking as she reaches for him, wanting to hold him, be close to him, have him by her side.

"Are...you ready for my story?"

Her voice isn't as strong as she'd like it to be, but she's making a monumental effort.

[striker_eureka]

He nods, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves.

"Yes, please. Tell me what happened."

[driftcompatible]

Reliving what happened is almost as bad as going through it again. She reminds him of the brief blip in communications when Stacker turned and looked at her and she knew then that he was never going to let her blow herself up with him and Striker. She tells Herc about the argument, the sedative, the feeling of being lifted into the evac pod and jettisoned out into the waters. She doesn't know what happened next with Stacker but she does know he detonated the bomb, because the shockwaves batted her pod around like a bath toy and left her with very few supplies and busted sensors and homing beacon.

She floated for days, she says, eating one cracker for meals and conserving water by sipping it slowly, three sips to ever hour so that she stayed hydrated but didn;t guzzle through it.

She fixed the homing beacon and the choppers came, that's when she came back and the Dome erupted, and when she'd found him.

He knows the rest from there.

[striker_eureka]

He holds her close as she talks, tucking her head in under his chin, trying to calm his racing heart when he realizes just what this means. If she had spent another day out in that pod, or if he had given up just one day sooner...

He'd be dead and she would have missed him completely.

"Oh Mako..."

[driftcompatible]

"I...I tried to be faster," she says brokenly, pressing in against him and resting her body heavily against his. "I couldn't work out why the beacon wasn't connecting. Then I found the problem." And she'd fixed it.

Barely. The transmission had been very weak and nearly missed. She's lucky she's even alive, herself.

"I'm so sorry."

[striker_eureka]

"No, Mako, honey..."

He presses a kiss to her hair and strokes his hand over her shoulders, giving up on the fantasy that she's a ghost and he'll just go out and drown himself so they can all be together again.

Clearly he was mistaken, and now that he's got someone to stick around for, he's going to, no matter how much it hurts still.

"You have no reason to be sorry, you did nothing wrong. Not one thing."

[driftcompatible]

"I need you," she whispers, arms going around him tightly. "I need you. Please...don't go."

Don't leave her. Not now, not after all of this.

[striker_eureka]

"I won't," he promises, crushing her a little as he hugs her tightly. "I won't, Mako, I promise."

While the desire to just end it all will probably always be there, he's not going to abandon her now, not when he finally go her back through some strange miraculous stroke of luck.

"I'm not going anywhere."